College Football bowl games and me

This weekend is ready made for guys. College football bowl games abound from morning to night. For many of us guys the ball dropping at midnight is only a signal of more football games to come. I watched a game between South Carolina and Tennessee last night that had so many twists and turns it was difficult to keep up. The turning point was when a booth review determined that there was still one second left and South Carolina went on to win in overtime a game that Tennessee believed they had won. What a cliffhanger!

However, where the real entertainment is, and a lot of guys will secretly admit to this, is the sometimes verging on the ridiculous conglomeration of names for these games. I won't pick on the real names, they speak for them selves. But I think I might add a suggestion or two to list. Maybe you can come up with one or two yourself, we can make a game of it to bring in the new year. Perhaps as midnight draws nigh the more alcohol involved the more interesting the names will become.

"The Brett Favre 5th annual retirement announcement Memorial East Coast Blizzard maybe Sunday maybe Tuesday Bowl."

"The Far Right, Far Left, Tea Party, ACLU, Narcissistic, What's in it for me Political Bowl."

"The Ultimate Battle of Pitiful Losers Toilet Bowl."

I think you get the idea. Lets have some fun with it. The games are usually pretty good and well worth watching but the names sometimes take up two or three lines on the TV screen. Meanwhile, I wish you a happy, prosperous and safe New Year. I hope your team wins..................Joe

2011 predictions

There are a couple things I think will happen in 2011. Over the past 5 years much of what I thought came to be true. The economic downturn, high unemployment, the manufacturing losses, incredibly high numbers of illegal aliens, the bursting housing bubble, gold and silver prices rising, Ethanol demand being a bust, continually lowering of student competency and a myriad of other events. I'm not an expert but I have a high percentage of being on top of things and being able to plan for them. I can't stop what's going to happen but knowing in advance has given me a slight advantage in survival. Here are a couple ideas I have for the upcoming year.

Reality TV shows will abound. Next up? "Can you belch louder than a 6th grader?"

Someone will unearth the toenails of the oldest human being, linking us to being descendants of prehistoric wombats.

City buses that run on pig droppings will be sanctioned by the government. The main contributing factor is the development of a new deodorizing exhaust system.

Another reality TV show will focus on ways to sneak into the United States and where to obtain false documentation.

Federal and state employees as well as politicians will be required to receive the same benefits and live by the same affordable standards as the tax payers.

Someone on Utube will uncover proof positive that John Bon Jovi really has false teeth.

New educational standards will require high school graduates to read and write as well as play basketball.

Social security will be safely funded by the profits from the sale of Asian carp.

Telephone solicitors will be required to talk truthfully.

Unemployment will continue at one percentage or another.

News agencies will be mandated to report good news and happy events right along with all the tragedies. Reporters will have to stop bobbing their heads at us.

A new law will require politicians to actually do what they said they'd do during their campaign.

By the end of 2011 either these or other things will all come true. And that's the truth..........Joe

Coupons, they can be misleading.

Beware, sometimes coupons don't save you a dime. In fact, sometimes coupons advertised as a savings are priced at the same or even a little more than if you paid retail. Do your research before paying too much of your hard earned money for a "discount" coupon.

I am a coupon shopper. I cut them out of the local newspaper, magazines or wherever else I can find them. Bulletin boards, store receipts and mailbox promotions are chock full of money saving coupons too. They are an excellent way of stretching my wages and living the good life. I do not however, pay money for any discount coupons. I have found many of these coupons to be unreliable and misleading. I am not saying that there are not any real deals out there, I am only saying that I have not found any and am passing on my opinion to you.

Recently a good friend informed me of a website that sells discount coupons and, knowing I am a coupon clipper felt I may save a bundle of cash. Several of the coupons offered appeared at first to be a considerable savings on a couple of purchases I was considering, that is until I did my research. One service in particular caught my eye. I was considering it as a gift to a friend. The advertisement said that I could purchase the coupon for $79 and it inferred that I would be receiving $208 in services. Wow! That is a savings of $129. however, the ad was totally misleading and the services described could actually often be purchased at the business itself for $69 or less, either there or at comparative businesses. I was very disappointed both for myself and for those people who had already purchased the coupons.

Every time we use a coupon and actually save money we are increasing our purchasing power. The problem I se with these misleading coupons is that, because we feel we are saving so much money we may be purchasing something we ordinarily buy. And, if we are paying the same or more we are just wasting our money. That's not my idea of a good buy. I suggest you do your research before buying a coupon. Don't waste your money. It's too hard to earn these days.

Detroit Lions win 3 in a row

Why is everyone acting so surprised that the Detroit Lions won yesterday? I am so pleased I am almost giddy but I am definitely not surprised. I have expected this all along, winning was only a matter of time. Sure, the Lions haven't been a winning team for a long time but there have also been legitimate reasons for that. Not excuses mind you but reasons.

It's been a long time since the Lions had a couch with the wherewithal to learn how to win with the team he has. For years the Lions have been riddled with injuries. Game after game our star players have gone down and the substitute second and third string have had to fill in. From quarterbacks to linemen they've been mowed down on a regular basis leaving us a rag tag, motley crew. Our head coach found out how to put them all together and win. I expected him to do that.

Everyone in the league has seen the terrible penalty calls against the Lions. even the officials have stated the calls were bad after the games. Those bad calls go back at least 15 years in my memory. Many of them were game deciding such as the one recently called against Calvin Johnson for "Not finishing the process" It was pretty lame. And another one against Ndomikan Suh for pulling a guy down by his hair. The league rules state that if a player decides to grow his hair long he must realize that his hair becomes part of the uniform and can be used to take him down. All teams experience bad calls against them but I feel the figures show that they have been unfairly called against the Lions far more than any other major league team. I expected it would stop eventually.

For a long, long time it seemed that there was at least one player on the Lions team that created strife amongst the members of his team by whining and complaining like a spoiled child. This team and the head coach haven't participated in or allowed that type of whining behavior to be acceptable. They have rid themselves of the whiners, stuck together and learned how to win instead of blaming others for losing. I expected that this year.

So, as you can see I am not surprised. But I also have a prediction to make concerning something else I expect. The Detroit Lions aren't done yet. I watched their third string quarterback put together a group of injured and back up players to win two games in a row. I watched a second string quarterback, with a broken finger win a game with an injured running back and one of our star receivers on the sidelines with an injury and other players that haven't been with the team for half the season. I saw our excited head coach participating with and encouraging his players like no other coach in recent memory and I saw how they responded to him. They have learned to step up when necessary and win together as a team. I expect that the Detroit Lions will be formidable in the not too distant future. I can think of three NFL teams in the past three weeks that think so already.

The Detroit Lions won't be in the Super Bowl this year. However, I expect there will be many people like myself that will remember this as a great year for the Lions and their fans. Yeah, today is a good day for all of us..............Joe

Christmas is Here!

Christmas is here, Christmas is here
filled with fun, family, food
and sometimes, way too much beer

Everywhere we go we hear the sound of bells
see gifts colorfully wrapped in boxes with tape
and turn our faces towards the sweet sugary smells

Skis and sleds in the car awaiting the snows
jackets and gloves and scarves and goulashes
at the ready to stave off cold when as the wind blows

Colorful bright lights appear everywhere
their twinkling piercing through the darkness
with our heads straining to see our share

While under an overpass or in a storefront corner
can be found many a cold, lonely soul
huddling, shivering, living in total disorder

A soldier rides on a road in a foreign land
keeping watch for safety's sake
clutching a picture of loved ones in their hand

A man walks the icy streets going from store to store
looking for work no matter the type
hoping to earn money to keep his family home one week more

A baby was born who would save us all
not just a few, remember we should
for each and everyone it is best to recall

On Christmas day we are reminded to know
the reason for it all is this:
we reap what we sow

Christmas it's said is the greatest holiday
when we face our maker and He asks what we did
about the plight of our neighbor, what will we say

It's time to be happy and giddy and sing
we can look about us and see what He meant
of the gifts of joy, love and peace we can bring

Then, we can say: Christmas is here!

Huh! Say that again?

I heard the heart of an average person beats 4000 times an hour. I tried to count mine and fell asleep.

I heard that in the average year Americans use enough toilet paper to stretch to the sun and back. I tried to find out who did all the research, they won't tell me. Has he visited your bathroom yet?

I heard that snails can breath through their feet. I heard it from the same woman that said that turtles can breath through their butt. I picked up a snail and looked, I couldn't find any feet. You can do the checking on the turtle, OK?

I heard that in some Kenyan cultures if a man offers a woman some beer and she spits it back into his mouth, they are then engaged. I think I'll just keep wondering about that.

I heard that an astronaut can still burp while he's in outer space but he can't pass gas. I haven't figured out whether I am interested enough in that bit of trivia to find out for sure.

I heard that when all the counting was finally over, George W. Bush beat out Al Gore for the presidency by 537 votes. Now that's something to think about when you hear someone using flimsy excuses about their vote not being important isn't it?

Every year I find at least a dozen or more Praying Mantises climbing fences, trees and walls in my yard. For many years I've had several hummingbird feeders in my yard but to no avail, not one hummingbird has taken my food offerings. Duh! I just found out Praying Mantises eat hummingbirds.

I heard that the singer, Madonna is afraid of being thought of as stupid. Now why would anyone think that she is stupid? Maybe she knows more than we know.

I heard that the United States was being deforested at a rapid rate, thereby reducing our oxygen and bringing on global warming. Then I heard that every year there are over 1.6 billion trees are planted in the United States, every year! Now who am I supposed to believe. Both reports came from the government. Go figure!

I heard that if I wonder about too much stuff that is out of my control I may be paranoid. Now I'm beginning to wonder about that too. I wish you a worry free day.....................Joe

LOL

Sometimes my ignorance comes right up and slaps me in the face. This time it concerned email stuff. I attempt to write as I think, in other words I seldom use abbreviations or symbols. In my opinion it muddles the true intent of the communication. At least when I read someone else's email to me and it's chock full of single letter, abbreviated words or initials it brings me pause until I decipher it. Occasionally I miss it completely.

Ever since I entered the world of electronic messaging I have been confident in the meaning of three simple letters, LOL. It seemed that everyone used them and not wanting to appear as if I came from the dark ages I used them frequently. Sprinkling them here and there like a fine seasoning. Once in a while I'd get a reply to an email asking me to explain exactly what I meant. Then I would skip the initials and use complete words and everything would turn out just fine. But until yesterday no one explained to me just how ridiculous some of my emails must have looked.

Today I am a new man. Today I know that LOL does not mean "Lots of Love." Some of the things I wrote must have been LOL to a lot of people over the years but to those to whom I was writing about serious matters I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Today is a huge "DUH!" day for me. LOL to many of you.............................Joe