Joe Cramer-Being a Father

It's that time of year again when we get congratulated for being dads. I stop by the cemetery to do some looking back on being the lucky son of my own dad. I can't thank him enough. Because I may have been what could be called a bit of a loose cannon growing up, I'm not so sure congratulations are in order for my dad. Maybe a word or two of concern or understanding and a gold medal would be better. I was a good kid, a good son, most of the time. But there were a few times when some of my choices must have tested my father's patience far beyond most human expectations. How I am not sure, but somehow good old dad managed to handle my disruptive behavior and remain patient and caring and ready to move forward. My dad forged an attitude of being able to overcome just about anything in my mind that carries me through all these years since he went to the great eternal fishing sight he always dreamed of. I believe the attitude he expressed so well is exactly what keeps a real fisherman on the water long after the fish stop biting. Along with the attitude he also gave me perfect examples of what forgiveness and unconditional love meant. He had a lot of that forgiving to do with me. My maturity took a few turns here and there so he had a regular workout in that category. Yet, he still insisted I was a gift and on Father's day he felt he should be thanking all those involved in his being a father instead of being thanked. Humble and grateful for who he was. How can a guy go wrong with a dad like that? That's why I dedicated my book "Joe's Story: The Book of a Lifetime" in part to him.

That brings me to who I am as far as being a father. I had to become one before I fully understood my dad's humility. Truthfully, I rather enjoy the calls and cards and maybe a special meal or activity. But, that's where it stops these days. I am lucky to have the kids and grandkids I have. I trust that in some way I was a good example in their lives too. At least they are still talking to me and answer the phone when I call. It's a privilege and an honor to be their father. Being a dad came with a heavy responsibility and due to my own dad's ability and love I was ale to meet that obligation the best way I could and watched them grow and mature into remarkable parents themselves. That is so very cool!

So on Father's Day I offer my congratulations to the dads everywhere that did their best to be there for their kids. You had a job to do and you did it. We get some static sometimes, actually a lot of times: for working too much, being too strict, expecting too much, believing kids should except their own consequences, sometimes having to be the enforcer of those consequences, for even being in a place of authority. Well, in His wisdom, God placed us where we are and made us the way we are. Being a good father means that, no matter how much we are criticized, we must remain true to our goal of being the best dad we can. It's our job and our privilege and our honor. Hey guys, here's to you and me for being there, loving and protecting our kids and leading them into the future knowing we stuck with them through thick and thin. Good Job! Happy Father's Day!

Dads, fathers, men in general

My dad was a great dad. My dad was imperfect too. He loved my mom and sometimes made embarrassing mistakes trying to let her know that he did. My dad took things apart and put them back together, often without experience or adequate information. Those two incidentals didn't stop him from attempting anything. "If a man could think it, a man could do it." He never said that but he demonstrated that philosophy over and over again. Don't have a tire patch? Cut up a rubber glove and patch the tire with Elmer's glue. House doesn't have a basement? Jack it up with a car jack, put it on bricks and dig the basement with shovels and scoop rigged up to the back axle of an old truck. Yard won't grow grass? Find an empty grassy lot, dig up sod, one trunk full at a time, day after day for an entire summer, and spread it across the yard. (Yeah, it really worked) There were no end to times when we needed money for just about everything so there was no end to the jobs and extra jobs he took on, often working 16 to 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. He was on a mission: Take care of his family, the best he could. Even with all that going on, my dad somehow found time to be a great dad and husband. My life probably isn't as complicated as his was and I still find being a good father, husband and now, grandfather no easy task. Being those things as good as my own dad is like trying to fill his shoes. It takes work, sacrifice, dedication, love and a real desire to do the right thing. Being a dad is a full time job. I saw that with my own eyes.

I've heard it said that Mother's day is celebrated because mothers don't get enough credit for all they do. Who can argue with that? But I also heard some of those same people say that Father's Day was not necessary because every day is fathers day due to men not having the responsibilities that moms do. Not everyone says that of course but I still hear it too much for my comfort. Moms and dads shouldn't be in competition for who deserves the most credit. Both should have their own special -place in the child rearing category. When I went to high school I can remember the teacher speaking with disgust about how the governments of Russia and China had child care provided so both fathers and mothers could work all day. "Who raises those kids then?" She asked. I brought that scandalous bit of information back home to my folks. My mother rolled her eyes and asked what this world was coming to and my dad asked if there were any real men in those countries because it was a man's job to provide enough for the mothers to stay home and take care of the kids. They may have had a very narrow knowledge of the world but it was how they believed never the less.

So, whenever Father's Day rolls around I look back at my youth of working alongside my dad. His complete unconditional love and understanding and the role he played in my life. He showed me what he believed rather than spend hours of lip service. He showed me how the family worked together in the way that he and my mother believed it should. In my entire life I do not recall ever being told I was bad. The things I did as a kid sometimes weren't so good but as a person I was good.

Thanks Dad! I saw how hard you worked for us and still kept your sense of humor. You were cool! Not perfect, but very cool! Happy Father's Day!