Problems, resolutions, moving on.

Conflict between people is an intricately complicated matter. Conflict resolution is dependant on open and honest communication between the parties involved in the conflict. Most people who have ever been involved in a relationship with another person has found that out in one way or another. The same principal of open and honest communication is just as relevant in business as it is in our personal lives. I just had to do damage control relating to a communication problem. It was a mess. As human beings we are subject to messing up occasionally. I feel as though I was almost set on proving that. I am still reeling from the consequences.

I am involved in a service business. I make cars clean, shiny, good smelling and as close to new looking as possible. I've been doing this for over 50 years. I know Americans have a love affair with their cars and how important it is to listen to my customers and accomplish what they want by using my knowledge and experience. It is a highly individual service. When I speak with my customers before we even begin the work on their car, I walk around that car with them and make written notes on every concern they bring up. Those notes stay with that car through the entire process. 99.99% of our customers are completely satisfied and recommend us to others without reservations. This week I ran across the .01%. No one could have ever imagined the series of circumstances that set the situation in motion:

Two customers came to us on the same day.
They each owned the same model car.
Both cars were the same color and year.
Each customer had a different set of requirements.
One customer was friendly, open and smiled and spoke easily, looking forward to a great experience. Wanting a "Complete" service.
One customer was of a difficult nature, abrupt and extremely specific as to the services desired. Only "this and that" service. (The husband explained to me in advance that his wife had a problem with her social skills, required medication for a personality disorder and apologized for any difficulties that may arise from that.).
Both customer's last names were pronounced the same but spelled differently.
The men's names each began with an M.
The women's names each began with an F.

Sometime during the processing of those two cars the specification sheets I had so meticulously written out were switched.

The customer with the specific requirements got more than they requested. The customer looking forward to "Everything" got slightly less. Not a huge difference but a difference none the less. When they picked up their cars they checked them over and were both very pleased.

The next morning I received a phone call from who I believed to be the woman that requested "specific" services. She was complaining that we did not do two services that she specifically instructed us not to do. I could not believe her denial of her own instructions. I was beginning to understand why her husband mentioned her instability problem. I handled the call as best as I could but she was still enveloped in denial. I called back in a few minutes and spoke with her husband, explained those things she had instructed us not to do but we wanted them happy. "What can we do to rectify this situation?" I asked. "We take pride in working hard to satisfy our customers, they are important and we will do anything within reason." He asked me again about a couple things and I explained again to him that his wife had specified we "not" do those things because he was going to do them. He even reacted in disbelief and denial but said he'd call back. I was very confused at this point. They were both in complete denial. How do I deal with that?

As is the case with any customer comments, good or bad, we have a company meeting and discuss the situation in depth. This was a very unique situation. We are not accustomed to dissatisfied customers......................Then, during the give and take of our meeting both spec notes were brought out, it was discovered that those sheets went back and forth between those two vehicles during the servicing. Suddenly, the realization came to me that I may not have been talking to the people I thought I was talking to. They really weren't in the denial I suspected but rather I was. Then it all came to me in a flash. I called the people back, they did not answer the phone or return my message. Apparently they believe they must have been talking to a crazy man. I really can't blame them. Innocent misunderstanding or not, they were not pleasant conversations. I immediately issued them a complete refund, wrote a personal apology explaining the situation as best I could and put it in the mail along with an offer for fulfill our original agreement without charge. There is nothing more I can do. It would seem that the cycle of communication has been severed.

Another day, another lesson in business and personal communication. I can't change what has happened. It was costly both financially and dealing with our self confidence. We come to work every day with the purpose of doing the very best we can with each and every one of our customers. This day it didn't quite work that way. It is part and parcel of the human situation. We've done what we could, taken action so the same situation doesn't happen again. apologized, made an offer of reconciliation and learned from it. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try it just gets messed up. Now, it's on to the next day. I wish you a wonderful one!

Is America ready for a king?

The discussion between the fella's setting around the table in the neighborhood gathering place, "Maria's Breakfast Nook" was rather intense. Each morning you'll find the guys meeting there for an order of Maria's famous "Gut Busting, Man Pleasing, Mom's Style breakfast." It consists of 4 eggs, 3 pancakes, 4 sausage links, 4 slices of bacon, American fried potatoes, 4 slices of homemade toast, orange juice and coffee. Did I say that the fellas were a bit on the portly side? Besides the food they were there to solve the problems of the world. In case you didn't know, most guys are more than willing to devise a solution to any situation you may reveal. Warriors and Kings is what most guys are. Warriors and Kings have gone to war since the beginning of time to solve problems. Why would they change now?

A king is the answer, they said in unison. A look of amazement and then victory came across their faces. The solution was at hand. The words flew and buzzed back and forth like bees surrounding the hive. Why is a kingdom the answer? Common sense they said in between bites of that suculant breakfast fare. Just think about it! A kingdom has less expenses because the entire government is run by one guy. (They decided earlier that a queen just wouldn't do because they share and adapt too easily). The decisions of a kingdom would be made almost instantly because it wouldn't be watered down by a lot of politicians (hoping to be re-elected) offering a thousand other alternatives to simple questions which are most often answered by yes, or no!

They were on a roll now, the atmosphere was one of enlightment, the voices louder and the gestures more animated. The point was made that in a closely held corporation, success lasted longer and finances grew and grew because there wasn't the totally uneccessary bickering back and forth between a lot of management with unfounded feelings of empowerment. That's what government does, gives way too  much power and entitlement to people that have no other agenda beside personal gain and ego fulfillment. Ooooh! They just may have come upon a solution to our present financial quandry.

As the fellas dispersed to wherever it was they went to for the rest of the day they were satisfied that their Kings and Warriors type of wisdom, if properly implemented would make America a better place. "Elect a King, give him a bunch of warriors and quell the fury." Now, tomorrow it will all be forgotten of course and the discussion will turn to other matters such as sports, motorized tools or another topic of the day. That's the nice thing about being one of the fellas. Solutions don't necessarily have to be put into action. Even if they are profound.

The Titanic and perspective

Once again the movie, "Titanic" is in the news. Now it is being presented in 3D venues so you can experience the pain more easily of drowning I guess maybe. I don't particularly get a good feeling from a movie based on a true story where so many people died a slow death. Good music, choreography, love scenes and songs don't lessen the tragedy do they? But, I feel there is a lesson to be learned here concerning perspective. The Titanic was an example of the newest technology of the period. Engineers, designers, machinists, all sorts of educated people were brought together to build that luxurious ship. From their perspective it was "State of the Art!" From the perspective of all those passengers and crew that suffered in the sinking of that magnificent floating castle it was a piece of dangerous junk wasn't it?

When I write here I am speaking from my perspective and I don't expect everyone to agree. That's what perspective is all about. Perspective creates discussion, discussion increases vision, increased vision reduces misunderstanding, reducing misunderstanding helps us all negotiate the intricacies of our differences. That's the way it's supposed to work anyway. That's the lesson of the Titanic I think. I'm not at ease with viewing such a real tragedy. I find it akin to the monsters that beheaded a helpless prisoner and put the beheading on the Internet for everyone to see. Thoroughly disgusting, inhumane and heart wrenching! The people who, in their perspective agreed with the terrorists applauded their cowardice. Those people who in their perspective disagreed were sickened and enraged. Both sides feel they were right. In the case of the Titanic maybe viewing the movie will bring a more clear perspective to safety in all types of transportation. Maybe viewing the terrorist beheading will bring a more clear perspective to the insanity of hate. It's all in your perspective I guess.

Research and outcomes and silliness

Did ya ever notice that, no matter it is that you do, or how it is that you do it, recently there is some type of government research which determines, by experts, just how it is that you should do what it is that you do?

This morning the story was told about health professionals that denied crying new born infants of binkies. The theory was that without a binky to suck on the tiny babies would be wanting to suckle at the breast of their mom more often. It must have been, to the baby experts a great sounding idea for them to have put those new born infant babies through such trauma. With mom in the recovery room, totally dependant on the health professionals to take care of their tiny, precious little babies and what happens? Somebody ups and decides that it's time to run an experiment. Alrighty then, we'll simply pull that binky from quietly sleeping, calm and contented new borns and see what happens.

Results of test:
Baby cries
Baby fusses
Baby cries more
Baby becomes anxious
Baby loses trust
Baby remains anxious when it comes to feeding time with mom.

Hmmm!

Do to research we all live better lives don't we? But once in a while something just sounds silly.

Other than this beauty was conducted with new born babies, it reminds me of a couple thousand other research projects that spewed whatever nonsense it is that they spewed.

American history and our future

I am not a world traveler. I've been physically in only three countries, Here in the Unites States, Canada and the District of Columbia. :)  However, I do read continuously all sorts of stuff about the rest of the world. From what I read, in my opinion there is no other country that tries harder to make everyone happy, regardless of race, religion, gender or whatever else that separates us from being a common culture. If anything, it almost seems that we are constantly in a turmoil because we find it repulsive or sinful to agree on any particular life style or set of rules. We can't call each other mister, or master or miss or miz without offending ourselves. Then we turn around and describe ourselves as some type of other country American or specific lifestyle American. Everyone wants to get in on being American but they want every American to cater to their unique standard of what they feel American should be. America used to be a melting pot. I don't particularly see that as true any more. Without a clear picture of just what being American should be we are left to fend for ourselves. American can mean almost anything now a days, be it legal or illegal. Yeah, I know, now I'll get a bunch of guff for picking on illegal aliens but I'm not saying anything more than what's going on. With all  rules and standards designed to preserve our way of life up for grabs we are a country bound for internal extermination. With free interpretation of our laws by both lawmakers and the judiciary they change so often there is no security left as far as the right and wrong the American culture used to stand for. Instead of evolving and strengthening our way of life, we are de-volving into hundreds of separate mini, rogue cultures.

In our constant attempt to guarantee freedom to be whatever and whoever we want to be we have dispensed with the most important part of freedom: Standards!

Standards of right and wrong concerning just about everything:
behavior
speech
respect
rights
business
government
manners
sex
honesty and truth
reward and punishment
boundaries
religion
you name it.

Although we all mean well when we try to accommodate the desires and needs of each and every one of us, meaning well doesn't make up for the loss of a common standard we can all count on to establish how we can all live together. No sir ee! In school history class the teachers, all of them stressed how the past is always a mirror of the future be it learn from mistakes or be required to repeat them. "The pendulum swings."  I wonder if I will See it swing back?

Boyhood secrets and old bottles

Rummaging through the items offered in a recent garage sale just down the street from my house I ran across a couple of treasures from the past. The guy running the sale passed into being a senior at least two decades ago and now he was going to sell off his stuff, downsize and move into a small condo. "Everything must go!" the sign said. From a used toilet seat to a brand spanking new, still in the box, lighted dial Princess telephone. I enjoyed the memories some of his stuff brought to mind. He was at the ready with stories surrounding each item too. A pleasant experience. On the back wall shelves jutted out laden with his antique bottle collection. They were for sale too but I got the feeling he wasn't in any hurry to see them go because they were almost hidden behind the clothes rack hung from the rafters. Beer bottles, perfume bottles, after shave bottles, water bottles, whiskey bottles, wine bottles and soda-pop bottles. That's where I ran across something I hadn't thought about since years before my amnesia incident. Dusty, some dead ants inside and with a half dissolved label was an old bottle of "Par-T-Pak" Rock & Rye. One of my favorite flavors when I was a teenager. Maybe the taste wasn't exactly my favorite but the story behind Par-T-Pak brand Rock & Rye was.

The word going around between pre-teen and teen age boys, handed down from older boys as a right of passage was that Par-T-Pak "secretly" made Rock & Rye with Rye whiskey. Whoe! Did you get that? Rye whiskey! In a soda pop that any young boy could buy? And then, just to sort of keep that legend going, several of the store keepers in the neighborhood kept Rock & Rye off the shelves and in the back of the cooler. A guy had to actually request it. Then the store keeper would limit what you could buy, "Only two bottles at a time" they would say. Us guys would go as a group from store to store so we could get enough to last around our camp fire that night. And, just in case you didn't know: Only Par-T-Pak made it with Rye Whiskey. All the other Rock & Rye brands were fake! The story kept going around for at least two years as far as I can remember. None of us guys ever got real drunk because of course, we were "in control!" A couple guys acted drunk though, probably because that was what was expected when you drink Rye Whiskey. You know how peer pressure can be at that age. The, one day the word got out that the government had caught on to what Par-T-Pak was doing with the Rock & Rye and sneaking whiskey into it and they made the company stop making it. What did us guys do? We bought cases of that stuff and hid it out in the woods across the tracks close to where we had our camp fires. Our plan was good but we hadn't counted on someone finding those cases of soda pop and throwing rocks at them and busting them all up. That was the end of our secret. The mystery would always remain though. Mysteries are a great thing at that age.

I didn't buy the bottle but the old guy and I had a few moments there where we both understood. A part of us would always long for a dark night, sitting around a camp fire with a bunch of friends, talking about the mystery of Par-T-Pak Rock & Rye, secret whiskey and why girls were such big trouble.

First goal complete

Red Skelton, the comedian used to say: "I dood it!" After yesterday I can say that too.

Yesterday I jumped on the bicycle and rode off on my first step of my dream of repeating my walk around Lake Michigan almost 50 years ago. I set no records! But am gratified in the knowledge that it has begun and 15 miles are behind me and I actually "Got out of Dodge." Human limitations and misjudgment being what they are I feel it was a most successful experience. It's been a while since I rode enough to turn my legs to rubber. I find that changing the trip from a disciplined, single event time line to a more flexible, step by step staggered series of small trips is a more realistic dream.

My ride began with the temps in the mid 40's and the wind in my face at 15mph gusting to 35 at times. Level pathways and roads posed no significant problem although the wind gusts slowed me to a snail's pace at times. Then came "the hill" about halfway that seemed to rise forever. I'm thinking it may stretch a half mile although it felt like two miles. By the time I reached the top I was totally aware that I wasn't about to reach Lake Michigan on my first day. The trip ended for safety reasons at fifteen miles and the Western outskirts of town in Standale. Every trip needs a beginning. Mine has begun.

"I dood it!".........................Joe