Asian Carp. How to cook them and make money

Countless numbers of Asian Carp have spoiled our rivers for sport fishing. They are as close as the nose on your face to invading the awesome Lake Michigan. Just an electric shock away. I can't, personally do much about that except continue to vote and write my elected politicians. However, I can contribute to a way of possibly using those fish for the nourishment of humanity in these trying times. It has always seemed to me that if you have an otherwise unsolvable problem, you make the best of what you have. Besides being ugly the Asian Carp is depicted to be difficult to prepare for eating. That's not entirely true in my opinion. I assure you, somebody is going to discover a financially rewarding method of preparation and build an Asian Carp empire. Feeding the hungry is a good way to start I think. Here's an idea:

Catch a bunch of Asian Carp
Clean them and scale them
Boil them in mild salt water until tender and flaky
Separate the bones from the edible meat
Add seasonings popular to the area or culture
Mix in onions, veggies flakes or peppers
Mix the meat with corn meal and flour
Roll into balls or flattened into patties
Deep fry, bake or broil
Eat immediately or freeze for later

I've used this recipe for numerous fish and it works well. Try it with Tuna, Sardines or Salmon. You'll be surprised. If some entrepreneur jumps on this idea and runs with it, an inexpensive protein food source will be available to the hungry of this country and others, buildings will be purchased to meet production, thousands of new jobs will be created, we can export millions of pounds to other countries, much needed money will enter the country, additional taxes will be collected, the deficit will go down and the authorities will eventually probably have to declare the Asian Carp as an endangered species. A win, win situation. But then again it may be too simple and easy.

Laughing and wigs

Occasionally, for special events, I will put on a wig. Definitely not for appearance sake but rather for shock or humor. I am well pleased with how the good Lord decided I should look. Besides, it's a whole lot easier to comb a bald head then a mop of hair. I possess an arsenal of varying types of hair pieces. From a Mohawk to surfer, I've got almost the entire spectrum covered. The response I receive is as diversified as my collection. It always ends up with a laugh though, either before or after I remove it. Classmates from years ago, the ones you only see every 5 years are the people who don't exactly know what to say. Some of the wigs look downright natural and they may wonder if I am using a hair growth product and yet others are so misshapen and fake looking they may wonder if I am still among the sane. Either way the reaction is worth the effort. I get a lot of questions about why I do it. Usually those asking the questions are laughing while they ask. That's why I wear them. We all need a laugh or two to break the ice sometimes. Somebody's got to do it.





I've spent plenty of time sitting around waiting for someone else to make a move or say something to get a conversation going. The suspense is nerve wracking, don't you agree? Not for everyone of course. Some of us are just naturally outgoing and spend a lot of time socializing. Not me. I live a somewhat restricted life. My gosh, I have a hard time recognizing my neighbors in a grocery store. So, when it comes time to socialize with people I haven't seen in a long time I figure at least I can bring a laugh or two with me. They enjoy it and I feel like I'm bringing something to the table. Because it's been so many years that I've been putting on those stupid wigs I'm now thinking about facial hair: fake mustaches and beards. In the costume shop the other day, while looking for something unusual for Halloween, I even saw a set of fake eyebrows so full you'd a thought they were separate wigs setting too low on your face. Now that was funny. I'd never in my lifetime wear them though. At least I don't think I would, but then again, I just wonder.