Mourning and moving on. High school Basketball

Almost a year ago a terrible thing happened: After a final shot to win a basketball game, a Fennville basketball, player died, right there on the court. It would be next to impossible to describe the feelings of his fellow players and his family at that awful moment. Yet, the team went on to play again. The headlines have continued to this day regarding the teams efforts. The deceased player's name is Wes Leonard. May he rest in peace. Every time Fennville's basketball team is mentioned, the name of Wes Leonard is also included. It must be very difficult for the team to constantly go on in his shadow. He was an incredible person as well as a player from what I read. An excellent example to every one around him. What wonderful memories that must conjure up for his family and those that knew and played basketball with him. Sometimes I wonder how impossible it must seem for anyone to live up to his image both on the court and off. It's almost as if losing would be an insult to his memory or winning is only a result of Wes's influence, not the dedication of those left behind.

I don't pretend to understand fully the horror behind this story. However, when I see those players head onto the court, practically nameless behind the legacy of a fallen player I can't help but imagine the courage they must have to be there. My hat goes off to them and I wish them success and fulfillment as the brave individuals they are. I hope the fans show them the personal support they deserve. I can't think of a greater gift after what they've gone through and tribute to Wes's memory and his family. That's what life is about, life is for the living, we mourn and then move on.

Triple Mocha, extra Espresso, whipped Cream

I shouldn't be drinking high caffeine drinks, right? Neither should I eat meat, put salt on my food, eat fruit, have more than two beers or even munch on a candy bar. From what we read, just about everything is dangerous at some point or another. Recently I was watching a program that dealt with unusual health threats. One of them was drinking too much water can cause some sort of drowning process. What was that again? I'm beginning to fear most any type of nourishment. This morning I decided to stop at the specialty coffee shop just around the corner and get a Triple Mocha with an extra shot of Espresso. It's been about three months since my last one and it sure sounded good on a cool crisp morning just to jump start the day don't ya know. A very nice, middle aged couple was about to enter the shop behind me so I opened the door for them and let them in first. They went right to the counter in front of me and proceeded to order. "Two single de-caf's, no sugar, no cream. One plain bagel, steamed, not toasted, sliced in half to share equally." Along with a few other comments, taking several minutes while they discussed the health benefits of their choices with each other while I waited as patiently as possible. This after I had allowed them in the door instead of being first in line. (They hadn't thanked me.) They were skinny and pale looking. I'd say somewhere in their late 40's or early 50's. He had sunken eyes and wrinkled skin while she was so bundled up she almost waddled. When they finally finished and moved on I ordered my high intensity Mocha with a little whipped cream on top. The waddling lady gasped in shock. After I paid and waited by the table for them to make it the wrinkled guy came up and quietly whispered in my ear that sugary, creamy, caffeinated Mocha could very well lead to heart disease. I was a little taken aback but responded that it was OK, I already had heart disease. I'm not exactly sure why I said it but it was spontaneous and not well thought out. However, the look on his face was priceless.

I do not make fun of life threatening diseases. I really didn't then either. I was just making the best of a situation I wasn't accustomed to. I am enjoying this Mocha, guilt free. I espouse to the theory that moderation in all things ingested is the best policy: Savor the treat and move on. If I had one every day it would be a different story. I'm not particularly interested in paying for a bland de-caf or tasteless steamed bagel either. I appreciated the man's concern for my health but at the same time I didn't chastise either of them for their poor manners which I deem as important also. Meanwhile, I will trust in my good judgement as to the type of nourishment that passes my lips.

Writing a "How To" book

The subject of collaborating on a "How To" book concerning staying healthy has been presented to me. That sounds rather interesting doesn't it? The co author, should this project ever get off the ground is a solid contender for Mr. Universe body building competition. I, for my part am right in there with comparison shopping as a genuine pear. It ought to be interesting. Why me? Because I show a definite need to adjust my living habits towards better health. Well, I'm already healthy! Yeah, I may be healthy but I don't particularly display it with my doughnut shape do I? This Jack La lane Mr. Universe type guy, on the other hand looks to be the picture of physical fitness. Lots of guys in middle age would love to look like that. Nobody would ever kick sand in their face if they looked like that. (A reference to fitness ads in magazines back in the 50's and 60's) How is this all going to come together? The outline looks something like this:

Here we have two guys with different lifestyles, motivations and results. I have built a successful business. He has built a successful body. The affects of what we have accomplished are as different as our goals. The book is projected to be a conversation with the end being how an average guy can regain his health and improve his appearance. Here's where it gets a little complicated and the discussion would become heated, to say it mildly. Conflict, real guys stuff!

Throughout life I have faced a few health issues but by and large, through a combination of professional health care and learned life choices those issues changed from life threatening to manageable. Heart, lungs, circulatory and skeletal functions are all in line. My exercise regimen consists of hard work, stretching, some weight lifting and bicycling. When I wake in the morning, after prayers my first thoughts are of business and paying the bills. Humility is a necessary mainstay of my world.

The guy with the million dollar physic has also faced some health issues, some of which remain and must be tended to not because they are natural but rather because of choices made to maintain the perfect body. Blood pressure and cholesterol numbers are elevated and require medicine. Upon waking every day the first thought after showering is how to build a better body. Vanity is a necessary mainstay of his world.

The goal here is to argue points and habits and lifestyles so as to reach a compromise on how the average guy can firm up the abs, tighten the arm flab, find his waist again and be proud to wear a swimming suit while at the same time living a full, healthy, happy life style. There is a lot to be learned here. For guys anyway. It is up to the two of us to make it interesting enough to read and follow. That's what writing is all about, keeping the reader interested.

A little old ladies book review

Just when I think I'm starting to get a handle on this writing business my ego takes another hit. This time from a little old lady that fancies herself as a hoity toity book reviewer. She's actually a friend of a friend that I sort of took a liking to while visiting my friend in his retirement complex. She's well educated, informed and loves to read. She joined our conversation and the topic of children's stories came up. She adores reading stories written with the innocence of children in mind. My friend mentioned to her that I have written several children's stories for my grand kids and hope to publish them sometime in the near future. "Oh, I'd love to read them!" she laughingly declared, grinning from ear to ear at the mere thought of some new literary discoveries. She literally begged me for copies. Although I guard my stories carefully, after many futile attempts at weaseling my way out of it, I found it impossible to refuse her. So, the next time I visited I carried with me copies of a few of my stories, placing them in her thin and wrinkled hands only after she swore not to share them with anyone under any circumstances. Off she went, back to her room to enjoy her new found treasure with a promise to return them when I came back the following week. I lost a couple hands of cribbage, finished my visit and left.

On Thanksgiving morning, as is my tradition I came by the retirement home and once again played a few rounds of cribbage plus some penny ante poker to boot. I always lose! It's a tradition you know. Just before I left the little old lady came into the common area with my manuscripts tucked carefully under her arm. As she wheeled up she looked into my eyes, frowning and said I needed some coaching on children's stories. They were just too innocent! She snapped, I should put in some blood and guts, some scary stuff and more reason to make kids cry. I am hiding them from the cruelty of the real world. She put the stories into my outstretched hands, turned and wheeled away without further comment. Leaving my friend and I, considering her initial enthusiasm sitting there in complete, dumbfounded confusion. The nurse standing nearby, seeing our dismay gently reminded us that the little old lady is in a stage of Alzheimer's where she has occasional signs of normalcy, other times of complete mental reverse and all behaviors in between. We indeed had forgotten that fact. A half hour later she gave me a quick smile and stated how much she enjoyed the stories as she wheeled off to the dining area. Life deals us certain situations every day, I think just to keep us humble and on our toes. I am reminded not to take anything for granted. Just to make sure I am re-reading my children's stories.

Tradition and Christmas

I guess "Traditional" is a more personal word than I had thought, in this case especially when it comes to Christmas. People have told me about their Christmas traditions ranging from placing a pickle on the tree, decorating a log for the fireplace, eating fish on Christmas Eve, to putting up thousands of outdoor Christmas lights, attending all the movie premiers, spending every waking hour hunting and even an annual trip to Disney world. I have my traditions and you have your traditions and sometimes we have the same traditions. And then along comes someone to spur my imagination and admiration by doing something rather unique, at least in this modern age.

Berl, a fellow I've known for almost all of my adult life, and his family live in Northern Michigan. They are a self sustaining family, much like a family featured in the Grand Rapids Press a week or two ago. The only electricity is provided by a generator and then only in emergencies, unless you count the solar panels with battery backup for little things. His car runs on methane gas he makes from organic waste, table scraps and dung and their hand built home is heated by wood. They raise chickens and sheep and cows and rabbits and grow a huge garden plowed by their team of horses. They are not Amish although they know, work and socialize with them. That alone is unique enough but when they tell me stories about how they spend Christmas I really feel they are special. It is their Christmas tradition to make food baskets for the needy and deliver them secretly by horse drawn wagon. Christmas presents, in their opinion consists of something made with their own hands for each other. I suspect there is little or no pressure for greater material gifts without television. Beginning with Christmas morning after church they put up the tree and have a special meal every day symbolizing something in the Christmas story until Epiphany when they celebrate with a goose for dinner and take down the tree to burn in the fireplace. The parents and each one of the kids also do something special for each other every day. Not a big thing mind you but rather a simple action to show love and caring.

I don't know if I could adhere to such stringent ideals and traditions but they are one happy bunch so I guess it doesn't matter what I think does it? The news reported a story of a guy here in town who is celebrating the new heart he had transplanted in his chest a year ago that saved his life. I'd say that's the beginning of a fantastic tradition don't you?

Shopping until you drop, or go broke

I've always found the reference to "Black" Friday a little disconcerting as the beginning of the Christmas season but in this case "Black" is a good thing for businesses I guess. Our pursuit of eking out a living has lead to a complete set of days for shopping. Today is "Small business Saturday" A day when you buy all local from locally owned, independent stores. Monday is "Ciber Monday" a day when you buy on line from all over the world. I figure with the three days there we've pretty much spread our hard earned cash all over the planet. If we are indeed in need of a specific gift item and its on sale, we ought to get it. However, we all know at least one person who is simply addicted to shopping and proceeds to overspend for things they don't need. I am acquainted with a family guy that didn't sleep Thursday night because he wanted a new 46in TV. He fought and waded his way through the crowds and even got knocked down once only to find there was only one TV per store and it was sold within 30 seconds or so. This otherwise reasonably sane guy proceeded to spend his entire two week pay check for another TV more than three times the price of the original. The money he had was supposed to go for groceries and rent but he just got caught up in the moment. Friday afternoon, as he watched TV he was on the phone with his landlord making all sorts of excuses of why he didn't have the rent money. He wound up pawning his computer. Now that's what I call a problem.

A friend of mine is a psychologist and is extremely interesting to listen to. It is his opinion that each and every one of us has at least one addiction. I found that hard to believe but he went on to give a few examples of how we develop certain routines, A.K.A. addictions to help us through life. Many are obvious and frowned upon like drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Others are not viewed by us as addictions like a daily shower at a specific time, a coffee cup with the handle turned a certain way or wiping the dust off the counter on the way out the door, every day. If we look at ourselves honestly, he says, we will discover we have an addiction.
How do we get out of bed? How do we hold a fork? How do we put on our shoes? How do we read the paper? How often do you eat a certain food? Wait a minute, I said, I think you are describing simple procedure we develop over the years that work best for us. In a way, he said, but for the most part they are all addictions. I sort of think that he was playing a psychologists joke on me. I, for one do not have any addictions whatsoever. I actually need those three and a half cups of coffee to equalize my metabolic rate. If I put on my left shoe first the laces get tangled. If I don't let the engine run for exactly two minutes before my truck in gear it will blow up. I know what I'm doing. No one else understands me like I do. What was my point again here? Oh yeah, shopping! When I look at the prices offered on these special Black Friday sales it makes me wonder why I don't fight the crowds and get the deals. First, I don't need any of that stuff. And second, I still don't! I will say this though, addicted or not some of those shoppers certainly are enjoying themselves. Especially the ones who aren't spending their rent money.

Yesterday and today

The trappings of life haven't always been like this have they? We've simply gotten used to them. We've changed our perspectives and expectations to accommodate all these new fangled technological contraptions as well as life expectancy and the ease of going about our business each day. When I was very young my folks saw to it that I enjoyed the company and musings of my older uncles after Thanksgiving dinner. Many of my dreams of the future were influenced by their stories of riding horses, hunting for food, warming themselves by campfires, building houses, fighting off wolves or pumas or bears with knives and bare hands and, of course drinking home made rot gut whiskey to keep from freezing when they got stuck someplace in a car in the wintertime. There was a lot of laughter and teasing that went with those stories but the truth was that life grew easier as time went on.

The news keeps us aware of the hardships of our fellow citizens. To be sure the headlines have changed.

On the medical front, vaccines have all but obliterated chicken pox, whooping cough, mumps, small pox and the flu doesn't condor up as much fear as it did only a half century ago. Heart disease is treated with medicines, balloons, stents, transplants and pacemakers. Many diseases that used to kill can now be treated. Yet there is still no cure for the common cold. We live on average years beyond what our recent ancestors did. Elder care is big business now. Aging with dignity is the big news now.

Complaints of only being able to draw unemployment benefits for 96 weeks is all the talk. Whatever will we do? They ask. Social programs may be brought to an end after only four years and that is bringing unheard of hardship to many. There never seems to be enough food for the poor. No matter how much is provided we still read that four out of nine kids goes to bed hungry. We are asked to donate food but only if it is sugar and additive free and a major brand, not the cheap stuff.

The cars we drive only get 31 miles per gallon. The engines only last about 200,ooo miles, they rust out after only about 15 years. The speed limit is too low, the speed limit is too high. We are running out of oil to make fuel. The bus and train services need subsidies because of so few riders. The paved roads aren't quite smooth enough. Gasoline taxes are too high.

The mortgage lenders charge too much interest!
My landlords are mean and want the payment on time all the time!
Everyone but me is getting paid too much!

Hey wait a minute here. Are these really the headlines? Or are they simply reflections of change. Can you remember:
Lining up at the government food surplus building for cheese, powdered milk, rice and flour?
Driving through five foot snow drifts on un-plowed roads with chains on your tires?
Waiting in line at the bus stop hoping it won't be too full and you'll have to wait fir the next one?
Working two jobs at minimum wage or lower to pay the bills?
Making bread and neck bone soup to feed the family for a few days?
Unemployment lasting 13 to 26 weeks-Period!?
Working under the hood of an old broken down car to keep it running to get to work?
Creating wondrous meals using canned meat?
Coal being dumped through a chute into the basement to fuel the furnace?
The ice man bringing a block of ice to keep the icebox and its food cold for a week?
Walking a mile or more to go to school or go to the grocery store?
Police officers walking the beat?
Everyone going "Downtown" at Christmas time to see the decorated windows?
When you were down and out and the only place left to go for help was your church?
Being all excited about the brand new, six inch round, black and white TV the size of a refrigerator?
No electronic toys, just Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs, Rag and China Dolls, Etch a Sketch was all the rage, cap guns, coonskin caps, BB guns, chemistry sets?
Real Christmas trees or maybe an aluminum silver tree with a rotating light to change colors and Angel Hair thrown on to diffuse the light?
Everyone sitting in the living room on a cold winters night to stay warm around the wood fired furnace that heated the entire house?
Going outside to the outhouse at all times of the day and night in all kinds of weather?
Getting water from one faucet in the kitchen sink and having to prime the pump when it went dry.
Putting pennies on the train tracks to make huge disks from them?
Heating the frozen water pipes in the basement with rolled up burning newspapers?
Not having enough money for Christmas presents and making something out of what you had?
Being alone and broke, sleeping in the basement of a small unheated building on Thanksgiving and again on Christmas, using newspapers for covers?

I guess not much of this was particularly headline news was it? No particular reason to relive any of it either. But those things did happen to a lot of people. Those people became strong and survived and built the framework for the progress we enjoy today. A reason to be thankful I think. I lived through those things and I believe we will live through what we are faced with today.