Joe Cramer-Being a Father

It's that time of year again when we get congratulated for being dads. I stop by the cemetery to do some looking back on being the lucky son of my own dad. I can't thank him enough. Because I may have been what could be called a bit of a loose cannon growing up, I'm not so sure congratulations are in order for my dad. Maybe a word or two of concern or understanding and a gold medal would be better. I was a good kid, a good son, most of the time. But there were a few times when some of my choices must have tested my father's patience far beyond most human expectations. How I am not sure, but somehow good old dad managed to handle my disruptive behavior and remain patient and caring and ready to move forward. My dad forged an attitude of being able to overcome just about anything in my mind that carries me through all these years since he went to the great eternal fishing sight he always dreamed of. I believe the attitude he expressed so well is exactly what keeps a real fisherman on the water long after the fish stop biting. Along with the attitude he also gave me perfect examples of what forgiveness and unconditional love meant. He had a lot of that forgiving to do with me. My maturity took a few turns here and there so he had a regular workout in that category. Yet, he still insisted I was a gift and on Father's day he felt he should be thanking all those involved in his being a father instead of being thanked. Humble and grateful for who he was. How can a guy go wrong with a dad like that? That's why I dedicated my book "Joe's Story: The Book of a Lifetime" in part to him.

That brings me to who I am as far as being a father. I had to become one before I fully understood my dad's humility. Truthfully, I rather enjoy the calls and cards and maybe a special meal or activity. But, that's where it stops these days. I am lucky to have the kids and grandkids I have. I trust that in some way I was a good example in their lives too. At least they are still talking to me and answer the phone when I call. It's a privilege and an honor to be their father. Being a dad came with a heavy responsibility and due to my own dad's ability and love I was ale to meet that obligation the best way I could and watched them grow and mature into remarkable parents themselves. That is so very cool!

So on Father's Day I offer my congratulations to the dads everywhere that did their best to be there for their kids. You had a job to do and you did it. We get some static sometimes, actually a lot of times: for working too much, being too strict, expecting too much, believing kids should except their own consequences, sometimes having to be the enforcer of those consequences, for even being in a place of authority. Well, in His wisdom, God placed us where we are and made us the way we are. Being a good father means that, no matter how much we are criticized, we must remain true to our goal of being the best dad we can. It's our job and our privilege and our honor. Hey guys, here's to you and me for being there, loving and protecting our kids and leading them into the future knowing we stuck with them through thick and thin. Good Job! Happy Father's Day!

Joseph A. Cramer-Published Author

Wow! Talk about a compliment. I am totally humbled.

Yesterday, a very pleasant couple waltzed into my office looking for :"A Joseph A. Cramer." I answered that was my name. They looked at each other for a moment and the guy asked if I had written a book? "Yes, I had written a book." I said. "Joe's Story?" he asked. "Yes, that's the one all right." I said. And motioned towards the credenza where I kept a few copies on display. "Oh, thank goodness! She said, "we came here from Appleton Wisconsin to find you. Would you please autograph our copy?" Dog eared and rather worn around the cover with underlines and highlights, I could see they had done a good job of reading it. I said, "I feel honored" and signed the book with their names and my well wishes. We chatted for a bit and they left on their way to somewhere in the Detroit area for a business conference or something like that. It's not that they came to Michigan just to see me but they did stop on their way through. The effort made me feel somewhat special. They were rather hurried so off they went.

Either way, I am still riding the good feeling that goes along with someone telling you that you did a good thing. You just can't beat a feeling like that.

Right or wrong? Who makes the rules?

The name of a movie once declared that "The world has gone mad!" Various reasons behind that statement are what made up the plot. Mostly it focused on how individual perspective determined opinions of right or wrong. Some perspective was based upon fact, some perspective was based upon limited observation. Everyone acted on what they deemed as truth with outcomes sometimes humorous, sometimes nothing short of disaster. The movie highlighted how ignorance can rule people and even entire societies.

Fact: Reality/truth exists regardless of what you say or believe.

Listening to news of changes in long held rules regarding morality and law lately reminds me very much of that movie. Hollywood once again predicted the future. Reality/truth no longer prevails. Life changing decisions are now based upon perspective. And, this is the really silly part, it is the perspective of a self-indulged few that rules the majority of those who view reality as, at the very least common sense. The weapon of choice to empower ignorance is guilt. It works, big time!

When I was a kid, the neighbor kids never got treats from their folks. The family had way more money than my family but for whatever reason the parents did not spend money on treats of any kind. No popsicles from the popsicle guy, no ice cream or cake on birthdays, no candy bars from the corner store bought with allowance money on Saturday afternoons like the rest of the kids in the neighborhood. However, whenever any of us other kids had treats the kids from that family would be right at our sides with the phrase: "Jesus says we must share!" To load us up with guilt if we didn't give them some of our treats. As kids we wanted to do what Jesus did so we shared. We couldn't hold up to the guilt. That is until us other kids realized that those kids weren't Jesus, they never shared anything with us. They just wanted some of our stuff and used the Jesus guilt trip because it worked.

Now I'm all growed up and I find that some of those kids are still around loading me an millions of other people up with guilt so we will give them what they want. There are no limits as to what they want either:

 "I broke the law but you only want me to be held accountable because you don't like me or anyone like me."
"I can do this, even though it disgusts you because I was born that way. Accept it or you are old fashioned."
"I am special and don't have to work. You have to do with less of your hard earned money and support me or you are selfish."
"I decoded, all by myself what God really says and wants. You are out of touch with the modern concept of God."

Guilt is a huge weapon against good minded people. Nobody wants to feel guilty do they? Maybe it's this unfounded guilt that has made the whole world go mad. Are you guilty of allowing guilt to overcome your better judgement? Perspective, ours or theirs?

Memorial Day/Veteran's Day

Growing up in my family meant a lot of things. This weekend marks one of those things. Working six, sometimes seven days a week left little time for my Dad to do socializing. My mom worked too so that further complicated the matter. However, come Memorial day/Veteran's  Day, my folks packed us kids up and made a trip to Wisconsin. My uncles in Wisconsin, my mom's brothers were veterans. We made the trip there and back in one day. Nine hours there and nine hours back. Do the math and that means six precious hours to visit and chat with four uncles living within the greater Appleton Wisconsin area. It was a whirlwind of activity: Laughing, hugging, joking, always some sort of food and then off to the next and finally back home to Michigan again. What did we do back home? We visited my uncles on my dad's side of course. They were veterans too. As I got older I felt the need to question my folks about that almost impossible feat regarding the trip to Wisconsin. "Did we have to go all that way? Wasn't it expensive? Didn't you get tired of driving? Really, why di we have to go instead of just going on a picnic and taking an afternoon nap?" Simple answer: "Because they needed it!" They went on a trip for us, we go on a trip for them!"

Thank You! To all those who were or are in the Armed forces. You are there for us, I hope I am there for you!............................Joe

Competative sports?

How do athletes exercise to maintain their competitive edge?

Competitive sports are as much a staple of our modern day society as they have been throughout history. Of course, what with the advantages of new fangled electronic media millions of viewers are able to watch a competitive sport 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Professional and amateur athletes alike are subjected to criticism from around the world. They have to stay in shape to be at the top of their game or face constant ridicule from armchair experts. Sports are big business! In my opinion, somewhere along the way, the term "sport" has been altered far from it's original intent. A couple of examples if I may:

#1- Competitive eating
#2- Competitive poker

Just how does one prepare themselves physically to endure the trials and tribulations in either one of those sports?
 Umm, let's see now. Eat so much as to stretch the stomach to capacities never before seen in the civilized world. Practice exercising the throat muscles holding down food so you don't puke.
When it comes to cards it's important to work your butt enough to build up protective callouses for hours of sitting. Facial muscles must be trained to maintain a constant "poker face".

Two "sports" I simply don't understand as being spectator friendly. Seeing someone puke or another person push a pile of tokens is not high on my agenda.

An entire channel of broadcasting can be dedicated to just about anything these days as long as it is deemed a sport. Where is the Chess channel? Where is the kite flying channel? Where is the crepitation channel? And, as long as we are at it: Where is the competitive sleeping channel? Oh wait, maybe it's already here.

Enjoy the day. If you need a good night's sleep there are a couple sports to watch that will help.

Easter Sunday, the easy part.

We've got the easy part of Easter don't we?! We don't have to hide our affiliation with this Jesus guy for fear of persecution or death. At least in this country for the most part anyway. We don't have to stand in a crowd of otherwise, good people, incited by a bunch of powerful religious leaders, yelling at the top of their lungs to hang him. "Free the murderer instead!" they said. Leaving the authorities no other choice than to humiliate and torture this innocent man and then hang him on a cross to die, slowly and painfully. What would it have been like to experience all that? Can we even imagine such horror? We'll never really know. It's done! We can meditate, we can pray, we can fast, we can give up things, but none of it compares with those three days over 2000 years ago. It had to be done to give us sinners a way back. There was nothing we could do to make up for our disappointing ways of life. It had to be someone who could handle it with faith, love and kindness. Of course that doesn't mean we will all follow that path but it is there for any of us that does.

During Lent we prepare, on Holy Thursday we remember the last supper and the washing of his feet. On Good Friday we read again of the last hours, the cruelty, the pain, and finally, death. On Holy Saturday we go about our mourning in every possible way. On Easter Sunday we bring ourselves together to celebrate the Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ. No matter how hard we try, I don't think it's possible to imagine how it all went down, hard as we try, we simply can't.

So, for our part, what is left is the acceptance and celebration of the door that was opened to us. That's the easy part. Have a wonderful Easter weekend!

I always start again in Spring

Spring time is such a time of hope and promise I can't help but get all giddy about what's coming next. The world comes into bloom all over again. Colors appear, popping up almost everywhere, even in the cracks of sidewalks. The smell of all this new growth fills the nostrils with a pouporie of goodness. Animals wake from a winter's slumber and run hither and yon across the roads. Some of them don't make it but that's the law of nature I guess. Then there are those pesky rabbits, multiplying like nobodies business almost to the point of overpopulation. I don't quite know exactly what happens to all of them. I'm guessing it's the predators though. Hawks, Falcons, Foxes and Coyotes as much as the neighbor's cat enjoy a good rabbit dinner. Some say it tastes like chicken. Flowering fruit trees and bushes make for a kaleidoscope through every window. I find it difficult to think bad thoughts in the Spring. It's my tradition to take a long walk in the park in March to collect my thoughts about where I am, what I have, what I've done so far and what I hope to do. Then I pick pussy-willows and go home to take on the day. One thing I've held on to since I can remember, every Spring, I always try to do my best.

I've tried to:
Keep my sense of humor
Raise my own kids
Treat others like I would like to be treated
Tell the truth
Be honest
Maintain a moral standard
Be thankful
Pray every day
Read the newspaper comic section every day
Keep my language clean
Not to embarrass my family name
Help others when I could
Take personal responsibility for my actions
Not to blame others
To look after the environment
Not to accept unnecessarily from the government
Pay my fair share of taxes
Just plain do the right thing
Not back down from a good argument
To learn from someone I disagree with
Maintain reasonable health
Read good books
Listen to good music
Not talk too much
Remind people of just how bad carbon monoxide poisoning can be.
Wake up early

This is, of course a not so complete list but I think you get the idea. Every Spring I am reminded that it may indeed be true that Happiness is a choice. Happy Spring you all....................Joe