Saturday, May 26, 2012


About a year or two ago a singing group called Bon Jovie introduced a song something like, "Do You want to make a memory?" I really liked that song. My head is chock full of memories from my past. Some nice, some not so nice. The song reminded me that the making of memories is a continuous process. I have friends, family and acquaintances that are stuck in the memories of the past and have kind of given up on developing new ones. Admittedly we all run it to that train of thought from time to time but the problem occurs when we languish in the past isn't it? What's that phrase about "it's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there." I enjoy a visit into the past, I learn from it and, at least in my case my past and the mistakes I made can bring me to my knees either in laughter or in prayer for gratitude I'm still alive.

As some of you already know I spend time visiting or talking to old guys who are alone as they go through the short time they have left here on earth. Most, if not all of them are alone because of their actions in the past and they burned a lot of bridges. In my opinion, That was then and this is now so we do our best to make the lost of the time we spend together. We do that by creating new memories. Playing cards, board games, writing stories, telling a few jokes and in some cases, perhaps fabricating and reconstructing the painful memories they can't stand to bear anymore. I've found that I really don't have to say or do a whole lot other than ask a question or two and they take it from there. I have learned a few lessons regarding some rules while visiting these guys.

Rule number 1: Never bring them Raspberry Flavored Brandy for a sore throat. They just may decide to share it with their buddies and raise Cain in the old age housing project.

Rule number 2: Never turn your back on an old guy when he just lost a game of cribbage to you, he is a sore loser, and he has a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in his hands.

Rule number 3: If a guy asks for an over the counter sleeping pill, don't bring him any. If they sleep all night they just might pee the bed.

Now those rules may seem obvious to you but I have to admit that I learned them first hand by actual experience. Memories are a continuous journey through life. The best ones are filled with laughter. I've found that when it comes to old guys the process is best dealt with when it is accompanied by huge amounts of tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness. Yeah, with old guys those things are critical.

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