Sunday, December 11, 2011

Athletes and language

I think I stumbled across the secret to success in college and professional athletics. It's a secret language they use. I discovered it while watching interviews yesterday. Here were three college basketball stars, all of which were on full ride scholarships through college of course, being asked questions by a group of sports reporters. I totally understood the questions. The answers, however were an entirely different matter. Am I that far out of the loop on the progression of the english language in America? I didn't think so but after that interview I wonbdered. College students! Unable to speak understandably or even use words with more than 5 or 6 letters. I'm sure they are intelligent or they wouldn't be allowed in college or a university, right? I mean, scholarships are supposed to involve studying and bringing civilization to a higher level, right? So, in my opinion the only other explanation is that these athletes are using a secret language. Filled with soft R's, absent W's and rolling O's and L's are nearly non-existant, this language is taught to young prospective athletes as well. I know because I've heard it spoken in stores and on streets by guys and gals with a cell phone standing in line. For some reason it seems to have been picked up by a certain criminal element too. Strange isn't it? Athletes and criminals both speaking the same difficult hybrid, slang saturated version of a common language. I can't eplain the reason behind that coincidence. That brings us to some professional athletes and their secret language too. They are earning hundreds of thousands of dollars in the least and go up to millions of dollars a year and I can't understand half of what they say because I wasn't taught the secret language in school or at home. I wasn't hardly aware of it while I was growing up anyway. I guess I was leading a sheltered life and that's why I'm not a high payed athlete. After all I quit high school football because I figured if I was going to work that hard I was going to get a job and be paid for it. Those that know the secret language would have probably explained how if I talked different I would get paid handsomely. It must be that I simply missed a very important part of my schooling by neglecting to learn the athletic language. I mean, with my limited knowledge I think they just sound ignorant, arrogant and stupid. That's how little I know.

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