A friendship, or not?

I received a telephone call from and old friend and mentor early this morning. He was a little short with me because he hasn't heard from me in two weeks. "You know I worry." He said. "If I don't hear from you I don't know what to think and start wondering about the worst that could happen." It took me by surprise at first and I felt like addressing him as Mom. Then it dawned on me just what our relationship has become. I thanked him for his concern and told him I would try to do better in the future about calling him or writing letters more often. I just dropped a long letter in the mail box and he should receive it on Monday. I wrote about everything I could think of. That's what he needs right now. I am pleased to provide it.

John lives alone in a small apartment up north. Unfortunately, he has no friends left in his life. John has been a not so nice person to almost everyone he was close to over the years and through unguarded comments to them he has burned many bridges and they will not talk to him any more. He is now alone with the memories of what he's said and done except for the long distance correspondence and conversations we have. In short, he needs me. Over time I have done my best to help him apologize and make amends for the past through letters and attempted phone calls. As sad as it is, he actually had to learn how to do that. The family and friends from his past have chosen, and with good reason from what he's told me, not to reply. At least he's given it his best shot.

We met by chance 20 years ago and in his own way he advised me through a very stressful time, struck up a friendship and here we are today. In his words when he unselfishly gave me advice he experienced something he had never experienced before, consideration of someone else without expecting anything in return. That was a turning point in his life and he has worked on being a better person ever since. I can tell you from my own observation, he's had quite a job to do in that respect. But, he keeps working on it. Through his efforts I continue to learn and improve my own life.

The cornerstones of John's new life are A.A. meetings and his new found faith. For my part I guess I simply am some sort of human contact. Although he is working hard on becoming a better person he is still extremely abrasive in his talk and actions. If he didn't live way up north I'm not so sure it would be an acceptable situation as a friendship. It's workable by letter and phone calls though and also the fact that I didn't know him at his worst and don't have that insurmountable baggage to deal with.

Maybe it's a true friendship, maybe it's not but so far so good. We are both the better for it. At times he has some very interesting things to say.

Getting on with everything

If a person expects to get on with life on a regular basis they just better get used to jumping hurdles. That's been my experience anyway. I'm not saying I always enjoy those pesky hurdles, I'm just saying I have to expect them. Sure as I'm sitting here looking at the screen, in a short time something I hadn't planned on will happen.

Hurdle number one: Ever since Monday past my inbox has been filled with spam and advertising of huge proportions never before seen on my computer thereby slowing down my server to a snail's pace. I am grateful for my security system or I'd be off the air.

Hurdle number two: I jumped on my trusty bicycle, pushed down on the pedal to get it moving and busted the pedal bolt. Luckily I didn't injure myself except for a minor ankle scrape. My goodness, I could be talking in a much higher voice instead. By chance I had a spare pedal and bolt on hand.

Hurdle number three: A well meaning friend saw a loose wire hanging down from the front bumper of my car and attempted to stuff it back up into the light socket. Unfortunately, the wire was live and shorted out my lighting system. One wire at a time I am slowly replacing those that burned up.

Actually, I think you are getting the gist of things. You know what I mean. Life is not necessarily a bowl of cherries nor a bouquet of roses. Even so, cherries can spoil and roses die quickly. We have to be ready and able to tackle hurdles and keep moving along grabbing for all that is good. Which brings me to my continuing opportunity concerning the lack of time to ride that bicycle so I stay in shape to complete my expedition around Lake Michigan. Mornings see me at work early and evenings see me taking care of at home responsibilities late into the evening. Hence even riding back and forth to work has been sporadic at best. Walla! I keep the bike by the door of my shop and when I have a little time I ride back and forth up and down my street. I am beginning to know the sights well enough to recite them verbatim but at least I'm getting some wheel time. Just typing this it appears rather boring but in actuality it is quite exhilarating and somehow makes me feel as though I am a little kid getting away with something. Some people call it making lemonade if you are given lemons. Call it what you will but I am determined to get around that lake. Just bear with me and we'll share the ride.

Bicycle addiction

Aaaaahhhh! I finally went for a 19 mile, morning ride on my bicycle. Unfortunately it wasn't part of my ride around Lake Michigan but a great experience never-the-less. What with personal, business and weather related hurdles I hadn't been able to ride for almost two full weeks. I was suffering from some type of cycling withdrawal syndrome. Wanderlust, day dreaming, loss of focus, a yearning for the road passing under me with the wind in my face, stuff like that. I could tolerate it no longer and grabbed the opportunity on Saturday morning past. Woke up way before dawn broke, watered the flowers and garden while partaking of the mandatory intake of strong, dark, heart jogging coffee, walked into the garage for a rake, looked at my trusty two wheeler and made the decision to throw my other activities to the wind and go for a ride. Oooohhh! How nice it was. Down the street, around a couple corners, over a hill and onto the Kent Trails bike path. It was barely light enough to see the pathway ahead of me and already there were joggers, runners, bikers and skaters moving along in staggered positions, most with ear buds and some type of radio or Ipod or whatever it is that people listen to now. Exhilarating, to say the least. Trees, bushes, birds, creeks, bridges, ponds and even a water treatment plant leading to and coming from John Ball Park, back to downtown Byron Center and finally my driveway and home. The time passed way too quickly and here it was over two full hours in the saddle and a full 19 miles on my new tires. My legs were a bit testy and I wobbled for a while as I walked off the adrenaline but otherwise I had gotten my exercise fix after such a long stay of inactivity. I am back to being myself once again.

It is amazing just how much I missed riding and how it affected my every day ability to cope with stress. Every new day is an opportunity and on Saturday I took advantage of it. I encourage you to give something a shot also that perhaps you may be missing. It put me in a wonderful mood to savor meeting new people at a dinner party later in the day. I wasn't caught up in dreaming or doing the wanderlust thing. A great day all around. I love that bicycle.

More progress even.

I am so very pleased that over this past weekend I was able to ride an even greater distance than in the past. Of course, I also may not travel that distance any time soon. I'm pooped! On Saturday I departed from the North end of Grand Haven on US31 going North. Through Spring Lake, Fruitport and Norton Shores. Tree lined roads were the norm but not until after I left Spring Lake. Holy Cow! Some streets are definately not intended to be bicycle friendly. Moving onto Shoreline Drive the roads widened and became a whole lot less unnerving as the vehicles had plenty of room because of the wide shoulders I was riding on. I didn't hit the beeches until Pioneer Park and then I just took a short spin to the water and back. There were way too many people for my liking. I love people but I also was on a higher mileage mission and talking to much would be my downfall. Taking a few pictures along the way so as to help record and preserve the memory, I traveled on. After a well deserved rest saturday night I went back to Grand Haven Sunday morning and stopped at a store called "Bookman" A nice little book store tucked into a small part of downtown right next to a busy restaurant on Washington Street. I dropped off a copy of "Joe's Story: The Book of a Lifetime" They are going to look it over and may begin to take orders for it or maybe stock it if need be. Nice folks there at "Bookman" On Sunday the road took me to the Muskegon beeches and what a delight they were. Clean, accessable and relatively uncrowded. An excellent place to spend a day by the lake. I had forgotten just how beautiful it was there. After the beech I found a north bound road and went without rest or hesitation straight through Muskegon itself. There are plenty enough attractions in Muskegon to appeal to almost anyone. Especially some of the old, restored lumber baron and other rich folks homes. But speed through town I did and on to North Muskegon and past the electric generating plant and beyond. This weekend the wind was not pushing me back two feet for every three feet I went forward. The air was cooler and the clouds and light showers brought some relief from the sun on occasion. The next time I passed near the water was at Duck Lake and it was a joy to see the families with their young kids frolicing in the shallow water as I road by the Lake Michigan shoreline. The sound of laughter stayed in my head for many miles afterward. After what seemed a long solitary ride I came to the road leading into Whitehall. Once again the roads were packed with tourists as well as local people. I rode down the winding hill leading to the city park on the shore of the river there and the feeling I had when I sighted my support vehicle ready to take me home was one of complete and exhausted relief. I enjoyed the ride, saw many things, went a long way into God's country and satisfied my curiosity as to how far I could go if I set my mind to it but it was indeed time to go home for this week. Nap time!!!!!!!!!! So far, so good! Til, next time.......Joe

Bicycle trip progress report

My bicycle trip around Lake Michugan is such a wonderful experience so far. Although distance is not what I had expected I am pleased with where I am.

First leg-May 6th: 36th and Burlingame along the Kent Trails pathway North to John Ball Park then West up the steepest hill I've ever seen on Lake Michigan drive to Wilson Avenue in Standale. By that time my legs were rubber and I was grateful to see my support vehicle pulling up. It was back home to ther blue room and a nap.

Second leg-May 20th: West on Lake Michigan Drive to the top of the hill and East boundery of Allendale. Winds were 25mph steady and the hills were intimidating. legs getting a bit stronger but still out of shape. I had to laugh at my overconfidence and having to face reality with humility.

Third leg-May 27th: 6:00 am, dissapointed with my progress I made up my mind I would tackle the metropolis of Allendale on my own with no support. An attempt to get over myself. East city limit to West city limit...and back to get my car. Quiet, beautiful sunrise, very little wind. Excellent for contemplation and facing the reality thing. A needed mental adjustment.

Fourth leg June 3rd: West city limit of Allendale to The Yellow Jacket Bar and Grill, about 7 miles. (No, they were closed) Once again the high winds were kicking my butt. 25mph steady, gusting to 45mph. I maintained a steady pace and never stopped my legs from churning those pedals. A victory of sorts. The legs were there for me. I needed that.

Fifth leg-June 17th: Yellow Jacket Bar and Grill West on Lake Michigan Drive to Lakeshore Drive and turned North. Lake Michigan Drive from US 31 to Lakeshore Drive was scary. No shoulder for a bicycle to safely ride. Cars and trucks whizzing by at 55mph. One particular truck went by maybe only a foot from my handle bar. Just as she was passing she laid on the horn to let me know she didn't like a bicycle riding on "her" road I guess. Takes all kinds. lakeshore drive is magnificant! A bike path on the East side is smooth and friendly. Some bikers still road on the street. I didn't understand that. It takes all kinds. I arrived at City Beach in Grand Haven close to noon. The sun was shining, people were beginning to gather for the days activities and as the water evaporated the steam rose from the sand like a fog, giving the elusion, to my mind of zombies walking. Kinda fun. I continued to the Northern edge of Grand Haven and stopped for the day. It was Father's Day and my kids and grandkids came in from out of town. A great way to end that day.

This weekend I plan to go on from Grand Haven North as far as my legs and time slot allow me. I've found that if I ride approximately 5 miles and rest a bit I can go another 5 miles with little difficulty. Now if I can string a few of those together in one day I'll get somewhere. I'm still learning.

One last thing before I go.I can't help but notice how things have changed in 50 years since I walked around the lake. Back then many of the things we did along the shoreline, due to our ignorance were destroying it. We have come to the point of realization and much of what we do now is restoring it. Progress! Yeah, that's a good thing but still a long way to go. Just like my trip.

Have a wonderful day............Joe

Dads, fathers, men in general

My dad was a great dad. My dad was imperfect too. He loved my mom and sometimes made embarrassing mistakes trying to let her know that he did. My dad took things apart and put them back together, often without experience or adequate information. Those two incidentals didn't stop him from attempting anything. "If a man could think it, a man could do it." He never said that but he demonstrated that philosophy over and over again. Don't have a tire patch? Cut up a rubber glove and patch the tire with Elmer's glue. House doesn't have a basement? Jack it up with a car jack, put it on bricks and dig the basement with shovels and scoop rigged up to the back axle of an old truck. Yard won't grow grass? Find an empty grassy lot, dig up sod, one trunk full at a time, day after day for an entire summer, and spread it across the yard. (Yeah, it really worked) There were no end to times when we needed money for just about everything so there was no end to the jobs and extra jobs he took on, often working 16 to 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. He was on a mission: Take care of his family, the best he could. Even with all that going on, my dad somehow found time to be a great dad and husband. My life probably isn't as complicated as his was and I still find being a good father, husband and now, grandfather no easy task. Being those things as good as my own dad is like trying to fill his shoes. It takes work, sacrifice, dedication, love and a real desire to do the right thing. Being a dad is a full time job. I saw that with my own eyes.

I've heard it said that Mother's day is celebrated because mothers don't get enough credit for all they do. Who can argue with that? But I also heard some of those same people say that Father's Day was not necessary because every day is fathers day due to men not having the responsibilities that moms do. Not everyone says that of course but I still hear it too much for my comfort. Moms and dads shouldn't be in competition for who deserves the most credit. Both should have their own special -place in the child rearing category. When I went to high school I can remember the teacher speaking with disgust about how the governments of Russia and China had child care provided so both fathers and mothers could work all day. "Who raises those kids then?" She asked. I brought that scandalous bit of information back home to my folks. My mother rolled her eyes and asked what this world was coming to and my dad asked if there were any real men in those countries because it was a man's job to provide enough for the mothers to stay home and take care of the kids. They may have had a very narrow knowledge of the world but it was how they believed never the less.

So, whenever Father's Day rolls around I look back at my youth of working alongside my dad. His complete unconditional love and understanding and the role he played in my life. He showed me what he believed rather than spend hours of lip service. He showed me how the family worked together in the way that he and my mother believed it should. In my entire life I do not recall ever being told I was bad. The things I did as a kid sometimes weren't so good but as a person I was good.

Thanks Dad! I saw how hard you worked for us and still kept your sense of humor. You were cool! Not perfect, but very cool! Happy Father's Day!

Tennis, Now That's funny!

Tennis is a physically demanding, strategic and skillful sport. Running back and forth, swatting a ball, aiming correctly and putting the shot where the other player isn't and avoiding the embarrassing love thing. The sport where an athlete making love is not the desired outcome. I never could figure that thing out. What's the reasoning behind calling it love in the first place? Is tennis a French game maybe? Anyway, I am finding tennis a very humorous game of late. In the past I watched tennis matches because of the skills involved and the intensity with which it was played. It's not football or baseball or college basketball but excellent on the field of competitiveness. Clothing was always on the edge of modesty for the ladies but acceptable. The modesty thing went out the window a few years back. Being a guy I guess I can put up with it for the sake of the sport. Kind of like ice skating. Now, in recent times the players, almost collectively have decide to grunt the most annoying sounds as they whack that poor tennis ball across the net. The story goes that their trainers say that the grunting noise gives them more power.....................but some winning players don't grunt. Either way I have now come to the conclusion that if I haven't found any reason to smile on a given day, and a tennis match is being televised, That's where I turn the channel. Grunt: Whoo! Grunt: Whee! Grunt: EEEooo! Grunt: OOOeeow! Grunt UUUUhhh! You simply can't listen to that for a match without splitting a gut laughing.  That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it. Have a wonderful day and if you need a laugh you need look no further than the tennis court...