The Pink Pill for women

The airwaves are filled with news about the long anticipated "Pink Pill" for use by the ladies. The purpose is to bring certain situations to a much more amorous conclusion than could otherwise be expected. It doesn't work! What do we do now? Millions of dollars were spent on hopes of restoring a drive that nature thought necessary to lower if not totally eliminate. Evidently there is a reason the scientists hadn't anticipated. It's not all about the ability like it is in men. The difficulty runs much deeper. It's got to do with: Feelings! Apparently the pink pill doesn't deal with that. Back to the old drawing board. Meanwhile we're stuck with the old tried and true methods that come to us down through the ages in song and tale.

A while back our favorite health and fitness guru, Jack La lane was on TV hawking his latest juicer and flexing his muscles to show how well the juice diet works. He actually looks great for someone half his age. The reporter was asking him lots of health related questions while Jack's wife stood by smiling. She is up there in years and looks very good too. A couple most of us would like to emulate I am sure. (Except it takes so much work to look that good and most of us aren't that energetic or motivated.) A comment was made that being two healthy people of advanced age do they still get intimate? Jack displayed that huge toothy smile, squared off his muscular body and said, "Look at my wife, do you see her complaining?" The reporter then turned to her and asked the same question, her answer was, "Sure we do, once every week Jack gives me a couple glasses of wine, that sets the mood and we just do what comes natural. We are very happy!"

There is a popular singer that touts the benefits of tequila in song. It's on juke boxes and Karaoke machines around the world. One of the lines in the song goes something like: "Tequila makes your clothes fall off." And, when it comes to bringing a woman to a rather more, shall we say, accepting mood, an old saying from ages ago says that: "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker!"

Agree or disagree it kind of makes you wonder if that little pink pill should be augmented with a creamy filling of 151 rum. I wonder if the scientists working on this pill include women of the age they are targeting. Maybe they need more. Maybe they need to talk to good old Jack and his wife about it. Then again maybe most women like life just the way it is and would just as soon be doing something else. I'm sure more research will follow, Those scientists are pretty persistent when they work on messing with nature aren't they? I hope you enjoy the day. It's the time of year to be outside anyway.............................Joe

Funny bone tickling joke

Occasionally, most of us run across a joke that keeps us laughing for a long time. You know, it just sort of tickles your funny bone. Kind of like when you hear a tune and whistle it the rest of the day. We all have varying senses of what we find humerous, that's why there are so many differents types and genre's of jokes. But, a friend happened by this morning in search of a cup of coffee for which he could exchange a joke. I poured the coffee, he told the joke. It was a good deal all the way around. Luckily I didn't spill the coffee.

An old man was laying on his death bed, his faithful wife at the bedside to bring him what comfort she could. He woke up from his coma like sleep for a few minutes and beckoned her to put her ear close so he could speak. She placed her ear by his mouth and he began to talk quietly: "You've been with me all these years all throuh the bad times. You were there when I got fired from my first job, when I opened a small store and got shot, when the business went under, when we lost the house, and now you are here while my health deteriorates." She nodded her head in agreement. Then he looked deep into her eyes and said, "I think you're bad luck!"

You never know just what will make you laugh next do you?.......................Joe

Cats, dogs, rain, roofs and bicycles

Speaking of animals, it's raining cats and dogs around here. I ran across an explanation for that phrase quite some time ago. Not having the time to verify it I'll accept it as a believable theory for now. It seems that a few centuries back when people built homes out of whatever they could find, the roofs were made from straw or long grass or even clods of sod on a wooden frame. When bad weather came around many of the animals were brought into the home for protection. But, for some reason the cats and dogs were kept in small coveys in the roof. When the rain came down in torrents it washed away part of the roofing and down would come the cats and dogs. Sounds believable to me I guess. I just wonder why the dogs and cats were banished to the roof while pigs and cattle, sheep and mules came inside?

I suppose we all have our unexplainable little quirks don't we? One of my favorite things to do is to walk in the rain. The more rain the better. Riding a bicycle is great too. However, one day I was riding a bicycle on the sidewalk after about 3 inches of rain came down within an hour. I was on the sidewalk because I felt the car drivers had enough to watch out for what with all the puddles and fallen tree branches without dodging a bicycle too. As I looked up from the sidewalk I noticed a truck driver coming in the opposite direction on the road. His eyes were huge and his mouth was open as if to yell something. In another second I found out what it was that caused his discomfort. Bwoosch! Although he tried to avoid it, his tires hit a deep mud puddle in the road as he went by and the wave he created came over me like a Tsunami, splashing me and knocking me over sideways onto the soaked and muddy grass on the side of the road. No injuries but cause for a good laugh I guess. I must have looked like some sort of primeval earth creature. I didn't find any cats or dogs though.

So, there we have it. Cats, dogs, mud puddles and not too aware bicycle riders. One of the greatest gifts of civilization is written history so we may learn from it. That way we don't have to chase our tails looking to break the boredom. And then again, you could just say that I'm all wet!..............Joe

Dogs, mutts and names

When it comes to man's best friend what used to be a mutt is now some kind of "special, limited edition, designer" breed. I'd much prefer a good old mutt but I guess being a mutt is much too ordinary. Nobody wants to own an ordinary dog anymore. There are no longer any "accidents" that mess up long established blood lines, only "Oh my gosh" moments when a new, never before heard about breed is established. "Shephounds, Bullnauzers, Kerry Blue Danes, Pooschus, Malaweiners, Beagoundlands, JackRusselhuahas, etc, etc. are so commonplace nothing is a surprise anymore. Of course all these new breeds come with a hefty price tag too whereas a mutt was either free or very cheap. Another reason to lean towards a mutt.

Real dogs have enough strange names: Barbet, Klee Kat, Elo, Dandi Dinmont, Hawaiian Poi, Aidi, Bully Kutta, Kishu, Hovawart, Anglo-Francais de petite Venerte, Porcelaine, McNab, Beauceron, Akbash, Blackmouth Cur, Cesky Fouser, Tatra and Chippiparai are examples. I personally think there are enough strange Monika's placed on dogs without dreaming up all these other crazy handles.

A dog is a dog no matter what you call it. I've had breeds with magnificent blood lines and mutts with such messed up blood lines you weren't quite sure if they were a dog or some long believed extinct prehistoric marsupial. For that reason I'll not soon be acquiring a multi named, super snobby, heretofore unheard of animal. Just thought I'd mention that in case you were the slightest bit interested. .........................Joe

The last about the mean old grumpy guy

Busy, busy, busy. That's what this time of year is. If it's not a birthday, it's a graduation or a wedding or a new baby. A downright exciting time in history but it's been keeping me away from the blog a lot.

The old. mean guy told me the rest of his story while we were standing there and I thought I'd pass it along. All those years ago, when all the neighborhood kids thought he'd kill us if he caught us, things were not exactly as they seemed. He worked a lot and the family kept to themselves alright, but when I'd get an opportunity to talk with them they were mostly like everyone else to me. But, I was always just a touch nervous about those rumors. You know what I mean. If you hear something enough you start to wonder if there is some truth to it all. That wasn't the case though. This is what he told me the other day when I asked him if he was really that mean.

He and his kids spent so much time in the yard and house all the time because they were caring for his wife. She had terminal cancer, or rather a deadly type of leukemia. the doctors had given her all the treatment available at the time and pretty much sent her home to die. The mean old guy and his kids decided they'd do what they could to help her with whatever time she had left. For his part, the mean old guy worked an extra job to pay for some alternative treatments they learned about to make her more comfortable. They were very expensive and they had no insurance. The kids came home right after school and did the housework and cooking as well as helped her with her flowers and little lady like things she enjoyed. They did it because they loved their mom, not because they were slaves. The mean old guy planted a huge garden because he'd heard that natural foods were more healthy and had some curative qualities too. All this watching after his wife went on for a long time. The doctors had given her 6 months to live and she made it almost 25 years. Even after the kids grew up and moved away the mean old guy kept caring for her. She eventually passed away quickly and comfortably from some form of pneumonia. He said all in all they had a good life and he was still happy because of it.

Sometimes mean, old, grumpy guys have another side to them I guess. People aren't always what they appear to be at our first impression. Do you know anyone like that? I wish you a fine day................Joe

ACLU, Public Profanity and free speech

Call me old fashioned but I believe that respect for others is important in our civilized society.

The airwaves are filled with news about police in Pennsylvania ticketing people (probably mostly guys) for public profanity. The ACLU is checking in on fighting the tickets because of our right to free speech. A few years ago some guy on the Rifle River in Michigan lost his temper and yelled out a string of filthy profanities in front of a woman and her children. A police officer in the area ticketed the guy for public profanity. The courts took over and, in their wisdom decided the jerk didn't do anything wrong. I guess that in the name of freedom of speech we can verbally abuse anyone within earshot. Even if it means scaring and intimidating women and little kids. The guy on the Rifle river must be proud and his parents too.

The ACLU is supposed to protect our rights. If they feel that the right to blast away with any means of profanity we see fit at the time, I believe they are dead wrong! In my mind there is no other reason for profanity than intimidation when it comes to speaking it in front of those who are offended by it. Is free intimidation a right? I don't think so!

That's why I say that I may be thinking i an old fashioned way. Up until a short time ago it was against our core beliefs to use profanity in front of women and children as both a sign of respect and also it was against the law. Men or more accurately anyone who had any backbone at all refrained from filthy language unless they were in a select group of personal acquaintances as a sign of good manners and to avoid the wrath of the law. In the past few years I have been subjected to some of the worst language I've ever heard, more often than I care to count from women and teenage girls. My question is: Where has our sense of personal dignity gone?

Just who is winning this battle of a free society when we can't go anywhere and be free of verbal intimidation. And people wonder why our children fail to adopt normal behavior. I say to heck with the ACLU and those spineless weasels they are trying to protect. That's my opinion on this issue. There is no useful purpose in talking that way in public. (Are you picking up what I'm throwing down Mr. Biden?)..........................Joe, the old fashioned guy.

More about the mean old guy

As we meandered out the door chatting about how we were today, baseball season coming on and my grand kids he listened intently with a bright smile on his face. It was difficult to remember how he was feared by almost every kid in the neighborhood. He didn't smile back then. He worked almost constantly at two jobs and when he was home he busied himself in his garden or with the chickens or rabbits. The only time I saw him doing anything else was on Sunday morning when the whole family went to church. They arrived early at the first service of the day, which at the time was 6:30am. They also sat in the very last pew way in the back all by themselves. He didn't look mean to me sitting in church like that with his wife and kids around him. They stayed sitting after the service until most everyone else was gone and then they walked back home after usually saying something to the pastor. Then they spent most of the day in the house and garden.

His three kids went to middle school about four blocks away. Somehow the mean old guy managed to walk with them every day. Those kids seemed just like every other kid except they didn't go out for lunch or recess. They also took off a lot of sick days. And, although they were not rude and did talk a little with other kids they didn't mix with them at all after school. That added to the rumors. Some kids said they heard from another kid that the mean old guy kept those kids as slaves in the basement and only let them out to go to school and they were probably fed some kind of mind control drug to keep them from talking about being slaves. They certainly didn't act like slaves when I stopped by to collect for the paper or bring my seed catalog.

Today is a garden day for me. Replacing some plants that were frozen out and putting in some new. Fresh food from the garden is a real treat. The old mean guy seemed to know that too
..........................Joe